i realized in our life wasn't always be straight. sometimes we have to fight with our problems. either a problem can solve by our self or we have to ask advice from other person..
i didn't know what actually happen in my life during this month. i got a happiness but then i also got a pretty much problems. and i can't explain it one by one. i'm different. i became uncomunicative. became silent. honestly i really feel stifled around this month. i don't know why God's spilling all out on this month..
on my way back to home, i looked at a girl who sell Tahu Goreng when the rain was falling down. i can't imagine what if i become that girl. so sad look at her..
i spent today just went to school, then got a driving course and the last i felt asleep from magrib until 9 pm. unusual thing. apparently want to stop the time or just spend it only in bed. i swear i really want to run from this life furthermore. i can not cry to put out this stifled. i just can bury, bury, and bury problems by my self. i don't know what i have to do next..
even i thought i want to end this life with extreme way. using a cutter. without i tell you, you know what i mean. i'm go mad slowly. you said that you won't give your followers problems without a way out, but why do you give me problems so difficult and i think i can't stand it all ??? haaaaa :(
some people told me "be patient, nixie! you can through it". okay i know i can through it, buuuuuuuuut, Who want to be in a problem constantly ??? i don't want it !!! i have prayed, i have apologized if i did anything wrong. i'm always trying my best to fix all i have done, specifically if it couldn't accept other people. i really need support from whoever. i want to be free from any problems so i can lead this life enjoy and back to normally :(
i didn't know what actually happen in my life during this month. i got a happiness but then i also got a pretty much problems. and i can't explain it one by one. i'm different. i became uncomunicative. became silent. honestly i really feel stifled around this month. i don't know why God's spilling all out on this month..
on my way back to home, i looked at a girl who sell Tahu Goreng when the rain was falling down. i can't imagine what if i become that girl. so sad look at her..
i spent today just went to school, then got a driving course and the last i felt asleep from magrib until 9 pm. unusual thing. apparently want to stop the time or just spend it only in bed. i swear i really want to run from this life furthermore. i can not cry to put out this stifled. i just can bury, bury, and bury problems by my self. i don't know what i have to do next..
even i thought i want to end this life with extreme way. using a cutter. without i tell you, you know what i mean. i'm go mad slowly. you said that you won't give your followers problems without a way out, but why do you give me problems so difficult and i think i can't stand it all ??? haaaaa :(
some people told me "be patient, nixie! you can through it". okay i know i can through it, buuuuuuuuut, Who want to be in a problem constantly ??? i don't want it !!! i have prayed, i have apologized if i did anything wrong. i'm always trying my best to fix all i have done, specifically if it couldn't accept other people. i really need support from whoever. i want to be free from any problems so i can lead this life enjoy and back to normally :(
