Sigh.

Things that very bother me lately:

1. Since i had some problem with my stomach a year ago i've never eat a very spicy food. And today i didn't know why something different suddenly attacking my stomach. It's like when i was sick and makes me have to go emergency room. That's weird, i think. Cuz i didn't feel have eaten a spicy food or others carelessly. I just ate Pecel+tempe made by my maid. Only that. But why is my stomach getting pain?!

2. Last night i accidentally fall asleep without brushing my teeth before. This morning i got a tootache. I couldn't enjoy to eat my favorite food. I couldn't speak freely. And I couldn't pretend like there was nothing happened..

3. I don't know whether it can be called by depression or not. It's very hard to explain how i really felt and the reason behind. Moreover after lastnight incident. A invited me to go outside together and my mom wanted him to arrive at home first and asked permission. But in the end, all the plans failed because he was still feel ashamed to my mom after for a long time they never meet. I know how A feels and i know for what my mother asked him. I've been trying to understand all, either my mother or A. But why until now he has sent me message yet. Doesn't like usual. Where are you, sunshine ? I wish you are fine and for the incident lastnight i say Sorry and hopefully it's not being a problem for you.

Actually there's still problems as well. But i can't tell you all about it. Cuz i don't know what i really feel. I honestly confused with my my feeling now. I really need my moodchangers!!!! Haaaaa :'(

I might not be strong enough, but i have to be grateful i can still be survive on this life with any problems sometime. I wish i can fix my problems in the near of time. And i believe God always blessings me in whatever i do :')

She Sat and Prayed

it was a day after National Exam finished. i think all have happened between us will prove from now. i couldn't explain what i really feel. i used to be closer with you. and i might be just a little worried to you.

because last night i began to feel slightly different when before the exam be held. i just knew that you're spending the night with your little brother. only that. and the rest i just guess what actually happen to you. sigh...

3 weeks mostly we spent all night long, even all day long with sending message each other. make me smile when i read your message. make me feel so warm when i could be closer with you.

i wish after you finished your exam, after you graduate high school later, we are still be closer. we can be together and forever. amin amin amin!

thank you Allah. for every blessing. for sending me a happiness around people who i love. for making me close to people who i've waited for so long :')

i really miss you, A. for every words, for every moment with you, and for every things has happened around us recently...:)

Believing The Unbelievable

Today is the fourth day National Exam be held. At first i just thought that he wouldn't send his message for me. He wouldn't give me news. And i really tolerate it. But in reality he's still sending me some message. Eventhough some time he reply a little longer.

A and I recently spent every night just switching news. I gave him a spirit and motivation to turn up his passion for facing this exam. By the way, a few days ago he asked me to encourage him because he really needed it. I certainly approve it.

We all are humans who need others help sometime. If we want to be helped others, so we have to help others too. Like a science lesson when i was on elementary. That's we called mutualism symbiosys. Connection between two or more human being that profitable each others.

So while we are still living this life, Let us be a kind person for others. and i can't imagine how lovely this universe are if all people do a good things...:)


PS : yesterday afternoon was the first day i got driving car course. my father's told me to having that course, so i can drive car bymyself, or might bring my mom to another place she wants. you know what ? despite my mom had attended this course before me, but until now she hasn't had a courage to driving it byherself. hahaha :D

Fireflies

a song which pretty much makes me feel like back to 2009. which makes me remember all when i was with you. until now that`s still being my favorite and i`m gonna play this song over and over again specifically when i miss you :)

hopefully you`ll always be my fireflies, A. like at the lyrics, because my dreams are bursting at the seams about you ;)

Pray on Sunday

Bismillah. Dear Allah,
i wish i always in the right way. give me everything the best and easiness to earn success in future. save me from any danger. get easiness in everything. i wish that he's the best for me and he's truly my destiny.

Dear Allah,
i wish all my seniors get easiness when they're doing National Exam tomorrow. i wish they're always blessings by You. i wish they're always in Your protection. and i particularly wish he's getting recovery quickly.

Dear Allah,
i wish that last Friday is not the last day for me (and for him) to meet each other. to feel togetherness. to feel warmness beside him.

Amen...