Listing Down

hi, guys! how's your life ? :)

yesterday i posted some of joy on my April that made me have to be grateful more and now just thought to listing down my expectation on this May...here it goes!

• buy a new camera (actually i want it since March, buuuuuuuut my parents still pending it. hiks)
• can drive car slighterly, by my self, and without guide by father.
• pray 5 times everyday
  
• wake up at midnight for doing Tahajud
• fasting on sunday and thursday
  
• focus on my study
• get a good score in school affairs
• better than April
• earn more money. amin amin amin !
• get a side-job. particularly project in writing affairs, i'll be happy whoever take me to make a collaboration together. in the end of our project i ask for salary, of course. heheh ;)
• be more patient & understanding
• still be close and closer with A :)
  
• A can granted national exam with a good score
  
• don't have pretty much problems like on April. sigh
  
• always smile
• my weight keep on 46 kg. this is unbelievable, you know ? :D
• give easier in everything
• always near with Allah
• make my parents proud of me..:)

well, actually there's still expectations more. but i decide to stopping it right now..:)

f.y.i: spend my whole sunday with family in Selecta, Batu. did swim and i felt like swimming on the Alaska. really really cooooold. brrrr! then we back to home i lay down on my bed. this is a tiring day. and when i woke up my mother offering me yet guava juice. yum yum yum !

what a lovely day on the first date of May! :)

Grateful

goodnight everyone. i am feeling better in the end of April month. and tomorrow we're turning to May. alhamdulillah....:)

wasting my Saturday night as usual. sitting in front of my laptop and looking for any attractive site.
by the way, was thinking about what i have done on April. so here it goes, i'll mention the most interesting case on April who happen outside my guess briefly:

1. A has apologized for everything mistakes he's made
2. finally, i could drive a car eventhough still have to be guide by. hahaha :D
3. my weight turn down to 46 kgs. subhanallah, can't believe it!
4. did a hilarious activities with girlfriends.
5. and so on. too much bliss You have given for me so i can't mention it one by one. i thank for all, God! :)

Kicking Friday

spent today after school time with girlfriends and did karaoke with them at Happy Puppy. it's ok to cut my stressed a little..

there was a time when we went out to this place and finally we got an hour voucher to use on this place again.. lucky to be us !


we sang various songs. either local songs or western songs. either melayu genre or rock genre. the award for the best song we sang today goes to Linkin Park-What I've Done. and the bad song we sang goes to Wali-Aku Bukan Bang Toyib. hahahah..

pssst... we actually very appreciate for any different singers and genres, but we just can not deny sometimes we discredited a song or singer that looked so strange.. ;D

i like like to singing and i love my voice. i don't care if mine are not good. throughout i still enjoy to sing why not to do this?! be confident ;)

Killing Me Softly

i realized in our life wasn't always be straight. sometimes we have to fight with our problems. either a problem can solve by our self or we have to ask advice from other person..

i didn't know what actually happen in my life during this month. i got a happiness but then i also got a pretty much problems. and i can't explain it one by one. i'm different. i became uncomunicative. became silent. honestly i really feel stifled around this month. i don't know why God's spilling all out on this month..

on my way back to home, i looked at a girl who sell Tahu Goreng when the rain was falling down. i can't imagine what if i become that girl. so sad look at her..

i spent today just went to school, then got a driving course and the last i felt asleep from magrib until 9 pm. unusual thing. apparently want to stop the time or just spend it only in bed. i swear i really want to run from this life furthermore. i can not cry to put out this stifled. i just can bury, bury, and bury problems by my self. i don't know what i have to do next..

even i thought i want to end this life with extreme way. using a cutter. without i tell you, you know what i mean. i'm go mad slowly. you said that you won't give your followers problems without a way out, but why do you give me problems so difficult and i think i can't stand it all ??? haaaaa :(

some people told me "be patient, nixie! you can through it". okay i know i can through it, buuuuuuuuut, Who want to be in a problem constantly ??? i don't want it !!! i have prayed, i have apologized if i did anything wrong. i'm always trying my best to fix all i have done, specifically if it couldn't accept other people. i really need support from whoever. i want to be free from any problems so i can lead this life enjoy and back to normally :(

Missing Piece

Hello Sunshine..
Why don't you shine to me anymore ?
Why you suddenly vanish from my view ?
Why you have the heart to dissapear slightly, when i feel you're the one for me ?

Hello Sunshine..
I hope you are fine, there
I hope you are always be safe
I hope you are still remember me, here..

Hello Sunshine..
Where are you ?
I want to find you wherever you are..

Hello Sunshine..
I Miss You !